This is really easy, guys, despite what you've always heard. Listen up!
Look at what the woman does for you. That is her "coin."
What she is showing you is what she values and thinks is an excellent way of expressing her love. She is giving you and doing for you all the things she thinks are of vital importance in Female World. (That's the one she knows, after all.)
To please her, do what she is demonstrating. Do things in the currency she recognizes.
Not in yours.
That's the secret!
This will be very strange at first for you because you don't think this way. You're used to dealing in men's currency, not women's.
Now, there's one more problem.
This is that she assumes you also deal in her coin. After all, that's the currency with which she is familiar.
Unfortunately, you don't deal in her currency. You deal in Guy Money.
Not only does she not recognize that your coin is different from hers, she doesn't even conceive of the idea that there is another kind of currency!
And, since you're reading this, I'll bet that you didn't know another kind of coin existed, either!
........when you don't show her you love her in ways that she values, your message doesn't get through. That's because she doesn't recognize or know how to evaluate your coin. She deals only in hers.
She doesn't recognize that you are giving her something that you value. That's because your coin is not part of her universe.
What she values and recognizes as appropriate behavior from someone who loves her is not usually not the kind of thing you even think to purchase in Guy Money.
Therefore, since you don't reciprocate in a way she reads as valuable, she thinks that (1) not only do you not appreciate what she is doing to show she loves you, but also that (2) you don't love her.
Of course, it works the other way.
If you don't receive expressions of love in your own coin, you think she doesn't appreciate all you do for her out of your love for her. Why doesn't she see what you are doing? It's so obvious! All she has to do is look!
Therefore, each partner is irritated some (most?) of the time, thinking all his or her efforts to say "I love you" are not even acknowledged, let alone appreciated! In fact, there's suspicion that these efforts are seen but are being ignored purposely!
In truth, both partners are trying to convey these "I love you" and "I value you" messages. It's just that the coinage used is different.
And the partner is not experienced in dealing in an unfamiliar and "illogical" currency from an alternate universe.
........if you want to give a woman what she wants, look at what she is doing for you. Do those things because they're important "Yes, he loves me" markers to her.
See? It's easy!
This awareness works perfectly in the bedroom, too! (For example, how is she touching you? That's what she wants.)
Thanks for listening to Mom. Now go put this into practice.